Prime (noun)
the state or time of greatest vigour or success in a person’s life.

Hi, I’m Jason. This is where I share openly about the challenges, insights and lessons from my own journey. My hope is that these thoughts spark reflections that help you navigate your own path to living better and leading better. 

Jason Leavy
Founder

Prime Perspective:
Personal Reflections on Leadership and Growth

2 Team-mates, 2 Paths:
The Science of Influence

I found this old newspaper clipping recently - that's 15-year-old me with my teammate Steve after winning gold and silver at a national Taekwondo championship. Two kids from the same club, same training, same dreams.

It struck a chord with me, but not for the reasons you might imagine. You see, I found out from my sister that Steve died 6 months ago. 

Steve had such a smooth style and while I took home gold on this occasion, he was the bigger natural talent in my honest opinion - he could, and should, have made the GB squad.

Even back then, I had a passion for coaching others (I was made an instructor at the club when I received my black belt at the age of 16). Given I’d started training a couple of years before Steve and was also three years older, I spent time sparring with him and encouraging him to fulfil his potential. 

Our home town can be a tough town and while there are a lot of good people, it’s also an environment that can drag you down. Making it to university gave me a ‘passport’ to a different life, but Steve's life became incredibly difficult, and he drifted away from Taekwondo and our ‘band of brothers’. 

Without going into details that aren't mine to share, he struggled with addiction and made choices that led him down a painful path.

I choose to remember the friend who had talent to burn, but it got me thinking about something neuroscience now teaches us: we literally become who we surround ourselves with.

The Science of Influence

You’ll have always heard people saying things like you’re the sum of the people you surround yourself with, and I’m sure you’ll have spoken from time to time about people being good influences or bad influences.

What’s important to know is that there is scientific evidence that actually proves this, as mirror neurons fire automatically when we observe others' actions and emotions. This isn't conscious copying, it's involuntary neural mirroring that reshapes our own patterns over time.

The fact is the people you spend time with don't just influence your thinking, they rewire your brain:

• Their mood becomes your mood.

• The way they behave towards others becomes the way you do.

• Their standards become yours.

The Compound Effect

Taekwondo was the making of me, but it was far more to do with what it did for me mentally than any physical benefits. 

My father had moved over from Ireland and did shift work in the British Cellophane factory before heading to one of our home town’s many pubs. In those rare moments he was home, he definitely wasn’t the right role model for a 10-year-old lacking in confidence and self-belief. 

I can still remember the tenets we had to recite for Taekwondo - courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control and indomitable spirit (we had to say them in Korean). These were lessons to live by at a critical time in my life. 

But more than that, Taekwondo gave me male role models when I needed them most - a community of like-minded souls who believed in me in a way that I didn’t. Thanks to them I found meaning and purpose.

But here's the kicker: Steve had access to all of that too. Same instructors and team-mates, same values, same foundation. But environments are complex systems, and small differences in influence compound dramatically over time.

What This Means For Leaders

As leaders, we face a dual responsibility. We're both influenced by our environment and we are prime movers in shaping the environment for others.

Yes, you should be intentional about who they spend time with. But I’ve got a problem with the prevailing ‘tech bro’ narrative that falsely equates material success with positive influence. Some of the most inspiring people I know are teachers, volunteers, or stay-at-home mums and dads who simply show up with integrity every day. 

The bottom line is that a person doing meaningful community work can be a far more positive influence than a narcissistic entrepreneur obsessed with status.

More importantly, the missing part of the mainstream narrative relates directly to the power dynamics of leadership. The fact is that how you show up will have a disproportionate impact on everyone around you. Your mood becomes their mood. Your stress becomes their stress. Your standards become their standards.

Mirror neurons work both ways. You're not just choosing influences - you are one.

Knowing that, what are you going to change?